I hope all is faring well in each of your lives. It’s Sunday night here in Rochester, NY. The sun is setting in a cold, rainy, upstate NY fashion. I just picked up some groceries for the upcoming week while my wife is with her family seeing the Broadway show Jersey Boys.
I am listening to Birdy. She is most famous for her covers. Currently playing is 1901, originally by Phoenix. If you listen to it, you will find peace for at least a moment.
The last few weeks have been exciting in that plans gone awry but potentially for the best, kind of way.
Read my prior blogs for more on that insight. Now I’m sitting. Listening to Skinny Love. Wondering what to do with each new day. I’m living a life that feels as if it’s nothing more than a bridge to another life. My work, some of my relationships, my possessions,and my priorities will experience a violent shift once my heart lands somewhere and lets its feet sink in. See, I chose this life because it allowed me to begin the life I have with my wife, a life I wouldn’t trade for the entire world. I chose this life because it allowed me to step forward as man and as person. Now that I have this life, I see it’s holding me back from living the life I have dreamed up with my wife, since I’ve been in this new life. There came a point where I had to decide if this life had to go or if that dream had to go.
Then I chose to begin to make decisions to ween myself out of my consumerism and reliance on things out of my control and begin to work my way into sustainability and reliance on a community.
Now that I’m in process, I have found myself against a very very very very large wall of impatience.restlessness.anxiety.frustration.unhappiness.disappointment.
The life I long for is possible. It is coming but is not here. I continue to work my job. I continue to follow current priorities.
This is where I am. I struggle each day to be engaged in my current reality while all the while becoming present in my future.
God’s timing is never off.
I have never been let down by Him.
His promises are true.
I’m knocking and waiting to see which door opens.
I’m seeking and rubbing the sleepies out of my eyes so I’ll be ready to find.
I’m believing and expecting.
I’m trusting this notion known as the Holy Spirit.
Even in my unknowing, I’ll ask you to believe that there is a purpose for your life. Hold onto hope.