I’ve been feeling convicted that my dream is in fact all too much mine. Not nearly enough God’s dream.
I long to live a radical life because then I feel ill be forced to maintain close relation with Christ and that somehow that’s what I want. No, I want relationship by choice but I struggle so much with the need for and the importance of my faith in ordinary mundane life that I have been reaching for something wild.
My heart, in even its purest form, desires wild. Adventure. Thrill. Fear. Faith. Trust like a reckless abandon.
But I’m not ready.
Of course when He calls me, I will go with an unprecedented enthusiasm. But since I’ve been praying and asking and listening and not hearing a call, I am going to continue through this grit and grime. I am going to continue to learn and to learn about discipline. And thank God for what he’s given me then beg for more.
It’s a mindset shift. That’s all.
I’m learning that there is meaning in the mundane.
Thank you for your prayers. Please don’t stop now.