I’m not sure where I left off here… It’s been a while. Honestly, I’m not too concerned. Forgive me if that offends you, but this blog isn’t really about you… It’s about my journey and I share what I can. I’m glad to bring you along when time and heart allow 🙂
To start, I’ve been out of work for close to two months now. I left my previous job on good terms to pursue a more fitting path. A path that offered more time with my wife, a path that offered work I truly enjoy, a path that involved following God wholly and truly. Not conveniently or partially. Well last week was very difficult emotionally and spiritually. Both Kelsie and I were discouraged that God seemed so silent. We had been praying and seeking and knocking on a lot of doors and there was nothing evidencing His presence in our lives.
I’m learning to be a man and my way of doing that last week was through Prayer Circles.
I read a long time ago in a book called The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson about a man named Honi (The Original Circle Maker). This circle making means laying claim to something and essentially demanding that God act on it through His covenants. To me this meant driving to the parking lot of the company I applied too and was most interested in at that time, sitting in my car, praying, and listening. Every day I did this (except for Thanksgiving day. No, then I ate tons of food, felt sick, and pretended like I really enjoy football). As I kept going, I began to feel more of a need and less of a request. I started out asking God to do something and I ended needing Him to either open or shut this door. I didn’t care which He did. He’s sovereign, I wasn’t going to argue His decision. That week was silent.
This past Monday, I was referred to a general contractor about some work. Within 10 minutes of talking, I had been offered a job framing custom million dollar homes. I was excited because I’ve always been keen on working with my hands and learning a skill. I accepted it because it was something and something I’d enjoy. But I kept praying. There was still another untouched door. Today I got a call, from the face of this untouched door and was asked if I’d be willing to schedule a preliminary interview. Well sure!
God’s silence wasn’t because He didn’t care. It was because He cares as much as He does. I bet it even hurt Him well I waited and waited and waited. The point is, God’s not an enabler. He’s a teacher. A father. Being a man of God means knowing what’s true and acting on it. It means boldness. It means faith. It means confidence in things that you don’t have an understanding of. My father taught me that I needed to start acting even when it felt like I had nothing to act on. Truth is, there are tons of covenants that God has made with me and with you, and if you just do part 1 of any of these covenants, you can act on the premise of God doing part 2.
I haven’t been offered the second job, which is a for a position titled Quality Assurance Specialist, which means I link people from a crisis intervention hotline to organizations, partnerships, and programs who are able to appropriately intervene and assist and I don’t know even half of the details of this Framing job, but neither one matters. In thinking about these, my journey is not about the job. It never was. My journey, the journey of Kelsie and Nate, is about complete, uninhibited, and unprecedented, trust and faith in and love for our creator.
I don’t know what I’ll be doing in a month. But I know my God is real and active, and I know His heart is stronger than mine will ever be. He allows me to waddle in my pain until I finally break through and get the point. Then he smiles a huge smile, pours out his love and blessings, and we do it again :p