There are times when my faith in God feels unapplied and unimportant; I would still strive to be generous and kind without the existence of a God. I would still love my wife purely and fully without a God. I would still work hard and be an honest man without a God.
Then there are times when my faith in God reaches a conflict with my everyday life. These times are always a matter of attitude when boiled down to the basic nature.
These times come every few weeks or months, sometimes days, and I find myself feeling like I should do something even though I do not see the logic, the reason, or the purpose to it. The choice I have is to trust this feeling and follow through, or rely on my logic and reason to be my guide and carry on. This conflict feels so large and overwhelming at the time and often because what’s at stake is actually large and overwhelming. Looking back upon the conflict after my attitude has been decided though it’s so simple to see what’s right.
I find it to be without argument, a better idea to follow a feeling of what is right than to follow my logic. This is so simple to me because I know for a fact and from experience that my logic is flawed and consistently failing. I have never known this feeling of ‘right’ to lead me astray.
If you were to ask me today why I’ve made some of the decisions I have, the answer would be because I felt like I should. Not because it made sense. Not because it was for a reason that I could produce. Just because of a feeling.
The attitudes at play in this conflict are: first, to believe myself to know best and second to believe someone else to know best. I can choose to live for myself or for someone else. It’s better not to live for yourself.
I don’t feel as if those words came out as best as they could have but i don’t rightly care today.
Consider it a reflection of my heart on this hot and humid Sunday morning.