I am in a place where I am forced to accept that God is in control and that I at this present time have no course forward. I was in a place, 24 hours ago, where I was on a course and quite near the finish line. Near enough to not consider anything peripheral. That end was my aim, my focus. Then it fell apart. The finish line went up in flames and the road beneath my feet crumpled. The trees around me turned to mulch, the clouds perspirated into rain.
Then there was me. A man without a plan, a forward path, and without any hope. A man who needed to go home and tell his lovely wife that they’re dream had disintegrated before his eyes. A man who had to deliver disappointment and frustration beyond any experienced measure.
A day later, I’m still without a plan or even a strong notion of what to do. But faith is regenerating. A few quotes have encouraged me and I’ll share them with you;
” When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don’t throw away your ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the conductor” Corrie Ten Boom
“The most difficult lie I’ve ever contended with is this: that life is a story about me”. Don Miller
“Just because we don’t understand doesn’t mean an explanation doesn’t exist” Madeline L’Engle.
I’ve found myself trusting God for a great twist in this currently dismal ‘life forecast’. My attitude in this trust is half that my cognition allows the fact that God is faithful and half that my heart feels betrayed and abandoned. That’s just the nature of the relationship between a divine and an absolutely non-divine being though, isn’t it?
I don’t understand why after some confirmation our future has shifted greatly. I don’t know what is coming to replace that path forward. I don’t know much of anything regarding my circumstances. But I will tell you that my heart is joyful with the love of it’s creator abounding within. I know God is faithful and just. I know he has not forgotten us. I know he has a plan for us. And I know that I need to be still and know that he is god (and that i’m his creation)